When I ask new clients (that have worked with coaches in the past) about why they didn’t continue that relationship/diet/method, their answer usually falls into one of two categories:
- They didn’t get results.
- They got results, but they weren’t “sustainable” enough.
And herein lies the Coach’s Paradox: the work it takes to get the level of results (fast, dramatic) that most clients say they want IS indeed unsustainable; yet the actually sustainable approach most clients also say they want moves too slowly on the “results” end to drive long-term adherence.
Let that sink in a bit. And then let’s talk shop.
See Exhibit A: Ultimate Performance. They’re a great gym; a top-quality personal training product; and one of the best-known names in the business. But make no mistake: what they deliver–quick, get-shredded transformation results–comes from extreme caloric deficits, very rigorous training (both 3-4 hours in the gym and multiple hours outside in the form of steps/cardio), and a take-no-sh*t approach from their trainers (you track, log, record, and ‘fess up to every bite, sip, step, nap, and poop you take throughout the 12-week program).
And for the record – I’m not just calling out Ultimate Performance. I am also talking about the F45 Challenge, the UFIT Clean & Lean, or really any other short-term, high-restriction game that focuses most of its effort on speed and less on sustainability. I also include coaches/programs that simply drop your calories down to near-zero, give you an incredibly restrictive list of food choices (no gluten, dairy, red meat, grains, caffeine, etc etc), or work you so hard in the gym that you end up starving, exhausted, and injured. That is definitely not sustainable.
Now let’s consider Exhibit B. While I refuse to call out respected colleagues by name, let’s just say there’s a coach in my circle that’s known for A Gentle, Holistic Approach to weight loss. She refuses to keep scales in her office. She offers homeopathic powders, meditation scripts, and yoga routines as cornerstones of her program. There’s no quantitative tracking or monitoring in her process; only qualitative feedback measures. And while many of her clients love her, they rarely lose a significant amount of body fat or gain measurable functional strength.
“Sustainability,” then, in the way that most clients intend it, lies somewhere between hyper-restrictive, no-carb-no-booze-chicken-breast-and-greens-HIIT-daily types of programs that DO work (for a short while, until they break you) and feel-good, you-do-you-no-stress types of coaching that DON’T really deliver results…but aren’t totally destroying you, either.
So what’s my take?
If you want “sustainable results,” you must first commit to two things: patience and effort.
The “sustainable” patience part comes from starting as you mean to go on, with small, consistent steps, to establish a strong foundation upon which you can build proper, long-term habits. This is why doing CrossFit workouts with zero core, running a bunch of miles on a leaky pelvic floor, or trying to slash calories with an eliminate-everything diet is only going to backfire. You’re putting the cart before the horse, wellness-wise, and trying to shortcut your way to results that your body won’t be able to hold on to, which often ends only with frustration and a period of rebounding.
The “results” with effort part comes from understanding that lifestyle changes are a process, and to paraphrase a well-known quote: if nothing changes, nothing changes. You cannot keep drinking alcohol, eating multiple takeout and restaurant meals, half-a*sing your workouts with sissy weights (or skipping workouts altogether!), or sleeping 4 hours a night and expect your life– or your body–to change. There is a level of discomfort associated with any change, but to get cliche for the second time in this paragraph (ha): do you prefer the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret?
Those are, radically and honestly, your two choices. And to select one means you must give up the expectations of the other.
So, here’s a curated list of what I consider non-negotiable in striking that delicate sustainabilty-results balance along a fat loss journey:
-An accurate and numerically-trackable understanding of your food intake that consistently achieves at least 1.6g/KG protein per day
-5-6 “go-to” healthy, satisfying meals that you can execute without massive stress or fanfare (bonus points: eating those 80% of the time)
-At least 7500 walking steps per day, every day, aiming for 10,000 when possible
-A system (home gym, work gym, ClassPass, personal trainer) that works for you to get at least two honest, full-body progressive strength sessions per week
-An environment that allows you to get the maximum possible restful sleep, whether that means eliminating screens in the bedroom, helping young children sleep independently, or having hard conversations with a partner who has a different nighttime rhythm from yours
-A cold, hard look at the roadblocks that are consistently coming between you and your goals (alcohol, cigarettes, late nights, work events, stress eating, weekend bingeing) and be willing to address them with specific actions, not just intentions or awareness
-And finally: you must give yourself grace when the above things just aren’t happening, due to illness, injury, or heck, even just personal choice. Commit to staying in the game and getting back on track without self-flagellating or falling back into old, self-destructive habits.
A truly “sustainable” process doesn’t favour restrict-binge diet cycles, overwhelmingly exhausting workouts, or quick fixes, but it does demand consistent attention to basic meal preparation and nutrition literacy, some level of time or money invested in workout planning/equipment/instruction/execution, and a realistic adjustment of priorities (sleep, hydration, stress management, work hours/expectations, etc.) to actually see meaningful results.
That is the actual resolution to the Coach’s Paradox. Not a faster program, and not a gentler one. Just patience and effort, applied to the seven things above, for long enough that they stop feeling like effort at all.
If you’ve been spinning your wheels for a while now, bouncing between restrictive diets that don’t stick and softer approaches that don’t deliver, the answer was never going to be a better version of either extreme. It was always going to be the boring middle: discipline, a smart habit strategy, and coaching that holds you to both.
